Saturday, February 12, 2005

...Because she has to update her website.

(That's the answer; if this was Jeopardy! the question would be: "What is the reason Erin goes to work every Saturday?").

So I'm back, sitting, staring, stalling, and getting up every 15 minutes to dance around in the lobby and turn the motion-sensor-activated lights back on. At least it's something to do. My other option: do my taxes (or, more accurately, watch my dad do my taxes while being lectured on my stupidity in fields with even the most remote connection to numbers.)

Song in heavy rotation: Maroon 5's "Must Get Out." I'm ready for a vacation. Or a two-day, work-free weekend. I'd settle for that, and I'm not one for settling. It has been stressed that now is the time; "our busy season" is fast approaching (no-day weekends?) so vacation should be taken at earliest convenience (therein lies the rub, of course.)

Where does one vacation in mid-February? Mardi Gras is over. Skiing has never been a viable option (though I've always been a proponent of emotional balance, physical balance is not a strong suit.) Chicago's in its slushy period, and I can't afford to ruin the bottom of another pair of jeans. Vegas is rife with white-trash Valentines taking a number to walk down the same aisle as Britney. And the beach... really? The beach? Now? No.

So, it's dancing (solo) in the lobby for me.*

I'm actually kind of surprised at how bored I am. Things ("things") are up in the air for me right now, and -- hark back to the whole balance issue -- that just doesn't work for me. I should have plenty to get all worked up over and consumed by. But my state of mind right now is decidedly "meh."

I guess I'm going through a paradox-is-sexy phase (that's what I'll chalk it up to, at least.) I mean, what's the real reason I come to work every weekend? It's not because I'm swamped; it's because I can't stand to start a project, then sit around knowing it could be closer to finished. So that's the thought process I should operate in under all circumstances, right? Nope. Because the second any kind of confrontation becomes necessary, I freeze. So I'm frozen. Frozen in "meh" mode. I'm sure I'll thaw, probably at the least convenient time. Can't wait.

Last night I turned the water pressure in my shower up to full blast, just to make sure it still hurt. It wasn't as painful as I recalled.

*At least now that I've been doing the Grind, I can bring in an awesome routine.